'Rediculous' Customer & Critic Reviews

A subforum to discuss film culture and criticism both old and new, as well as memorializing public figures we've lost.
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Gregory
Joined: Tue Nov 02, 2004 4:07 pm

Re: 'Rediculous' Customer & Critic Reviews

#4201 Post by Gregory » Mon Mar 29, 2021 2:50 pm

A new account on Instagram, Depths of Amazon, recently offered up a few amusing reviews, which I'm putting here in their entirety:

"penguins shouldn't talk" one star
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Happy Feet
"No boobs" one star
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Hotel Transylvania, which is rated PG
"There were no wolves in the movie." one star
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The Wolf of Wall Street
"Too many monsters" one star
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Monsters Inc.
"My little rat children rented this movie without my permission." one star
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Spider-Man: Into the Spiderverse
"Thought it was a baseball movie." one star
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Pitch Perfect
"forin langage" one star
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Pan's Labyrinth
"Why is he wearing jeans in the ocean??" one star
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Aquaman (2018)

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Mr Sausage
Not PETA approved
Joined: Wed Nov 03, 2004 9:02 pm
Location: Canada

Re: 'Rediculous' Customer & Critic Reviews

#4202 Post by Mr Sausage » Mon Mar 29, 2021 5:26 pm

The last one’s a good question.

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mizo
Joined: Mon Aug 06, 2012 10:22 pm
Location: Heard about Pittsburgh PA?

Re: 'Rediculous' Customer & Critic Reviews

#4203 Post by mizo » Mon Mar 29, 2021 5:42 pm

Gregory wrote:
Mon Mar 29, 2021 2:50 pm
"My little rat children rented this movie without my permission." one star
This was the point in Willard when I could tell things would turn out badly

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furbicide
Joined: Thu Dec 29, 2011 4:52 am

Re: 'Rediculous' Customer & Critic Reviews

#4204 Post by furbicide » Thu Apr 22, 2021 10:13 pm

From the IMDb Parents Guide listing for Stalker:
Frightening & Intense Scenes
A black dog is seen throughout many of the scenes staring at the camera (viewers) which can be scary and intense. It can be thought that the dog is having evil intention when it approach some of the characters, though it doesn't do any harm.
I never thought of the dog as being intended as a particularly malevolent or disturbing presence, but your (cynophobic) mileage might vary!

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bottled spider
Joined: Thu Nov 26, 2009 2:59 am

Re: 'Rediculous' Customer & Critic Reviews

#4205 Post by bottled spider » Sun Apr 25, 2021 6:30 pm

One sentence analysis: When capitalists fail to satisfactorily control market forces, they masterfully divert the hostile attention of incompetent revolutionaries towards the innocent, hopeless everyday proletariat.
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The Big Lebowski
One sentence analysis: An introduction to Lacanian psychoanalysis; we will never get what we desire, neither pre-mirror stage subject/object reunification (“I’d fuck me”) nor our objet petit a (saving all the lambs).
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The Silence of the Lambs
One sentence analysis: The flawed Foucauldian society of discipline men have created (tit for tat nuclear war) is being replaced by a Deleuzian fully automated society of control (doomsday device), inevitably leading to a utopia of pleasure for the privileged and either death or servitude for everyone else.
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Dr Strangelove
Successfully standing up to capitalism, resisting its gaslighting techniques, and opening your mind to its negative effects require some combination of 1) honestly reassessing history, 2) separating your current self from your own past and ego, 3) making moral, equitable decisions moving forward, and 4) directly fighting against oppression. This is what is required to literally break the glass ceiling.
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Total Recall
Men are caught in a labyrinth of their own terrible actions - including, but not limited to, physical, psychological, and sexual abuse, manipulation, lying, racism, murder, sexism, and genocide - only by moving backwards and shining a light on the past and can we stop history from repeating itself.
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The Shining

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knives
Joined: Sat Sep 06, 2008 6:49 pm

Re: 'Rediculous' Customer & Critic Reviews

#4206 Post by knives » Sun Apr 25, 2021 8:26 pm

Those should go into the great reviews thread. Taking a joke and mastering it.

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bottled spider
Joined: Thu Nov 26, 2009 2:59 am

Re: 'Rediculous' Customer & Critic Reviews

#4207 Post by bottled spider » Sun Apr 25, 2021 10:40 pm

I get the impression from his less rediculous but still sententious or woke reviews that user Igglysnuggles means these in earnest. Although that is an ironic looking sombrero in his profile pic...

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knives
Joined: Sat Sep 06, 2008 6:49 pm

Re: 'Rediculous' Customer & Critic Reviews

#4208 Post by knives » Sun Apr 25, 2021 11:47 pm

A joke can be made in earnest.

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PfR73
Joined: Sun Mar 27, 2005 6:07 pm

Re: 'Rediculous' Customer & Critic Reviews

#4209 Post by PfR73 » Mon Apr 26, 2021 12:10 am

furbicide wrote:
Thu Apr 22, 2021 10:13 pm
From the IMDb Parents Guide listing for Stalker:
Frightening & Intense Scenes
A black dog is seen throughout many of the scenes staring at the camera (viewers) which can be scary and intense. It can be thought that the dog is having evil intention when it approach some of the characters, though it doesn't do any harm.
I never thought of the dog as being intended as a particularly malevolent or disturbing presence, but your (cynophobic) mileage might vary!
Image

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Brian C
I hate to be That Pedantic Guy but...
Joined: Wed Sep 16, 2009 11:58 am
Location: Chicago, IL

'Rediculous' Customer & Critic Reviews

#4210 Post by Brian C » Mon Apr 26, 2021 1:51 am

[quote="bottled spider"
Successfully standing up to capitalism, resisting its gaslighting techniques, and opening your mind to its negative effects require some combination of 1) honestly reassessing history, 2) separating your current self from your own past and ego, 3) making moral, equitable decisions moving forward, and 4) directly fighting against oppression. This is what is required to literally break the glass ceiling.
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Total Recall
Interesting, I guessed Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.

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PfR73
Joined: Sun Mar 27, 2005 6:07 pm

Re: 'Rediculous' Customer & Critic Reviews

#4211 Post by PfR73 » Mon Apr 26, 2021 1:52 am

Haha, I also guessed Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.

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Gregory
Joined: Tue Nov 02, 2004 4:07 pm

Re: 'Rediculous' Customer & Critic Reviews

#4212 Post by Gregory » Mon Apr 26, 2021 2:42 am

Successfully standing up to capitalism requires some combination of: 1) disguising yourself in a lifelike fat suit and, if the head says crazy things and acts weird, pulling it off and throwing it at the cops, whereupon it will intone a catchphrase and explode, and 2) pulling the tracking device out of your nostril, hiding it in a piece of cheese, and feeding it to a rat.

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willoneill
Joined: Wed Mar 18, 2009 10:10 am
Location: Ottawa, Ontario, Canada

Re: 'Rediculous' Customer & Critic Reviews

#4213 Post by willoneill » Tue May 04, 2021 3:29 pm

Not sure if this is the right thread to include Ridiculous Distributor Reviews, but as some of you may know in Canada we have a local distributor called Unobstructed View who handles label sales for the likes of Criterion, Shout Factory, Kino, Arrow, et al. In their most recent customer newsletter, they included the following closing thoughts on the recent Oscars:
Oscars
Last, I do want to say a few words about last week’s pandemic-challenged ‘woke’ Oscars. There was an article in one of the trades following the non-event that the hostless show would have benefitted from an emcee. My feeling is that the Oscars would benefit next year by going ‘showless’. Yeah, it's time to pull the plug. Any future iterations of the Academy Awards will only serve to damage the legacy of the Oscar winners of yore that literally built the industry. I’m sorry, but Nomadland isn’t keeping anything alive. Neither are Frances McDormand’s self-righteous acceptance speeches. Worse, how is a middling talent like Regina King given license to warn middle America that she would have come for you had the verdict on the Derek Chauvin trial gone the other way? What does that have to do with showbiz? Nothing, which was pretty much the tone the whole night. It’s time to replace the the Academy Awards with a whole new awards system that focuses on achievement in social and political messaging on film and leave Oscar history intact. Sort of. It won’t happen, obviously, but it will be way worse next year when Best Picture qualifiers will have to tow a proscribed diversity and inclusivity line when it comes to casting and story. Tarantino is calling it quits at the right time, because under next year’s Orwellian rules, Once Upon A Time….In Hollywood would never get near a nomination. If you have some cogent concise thoughts on the issue share them on our Twitter feed, and we might include them in our June issue and send you a little something for your trouble.

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domino harvey
Dot Com Dom
Joined: Wed Jan 11, 2006 2:42 pm

Re: 'Rediculous' Customer & Critic Reviews

#4214 Post by domino harvey » Tue May 04, 2021 3:38 pm

After that, I think you mean they used to handle Criterion

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soundchaser
Leave Her to Beaver
Joined: Sun Aug 28, 2016 12:32 am

Re: 'Rediculous' Customer & Critic Reviews

#4215 Post by soundchaser » Tue May 04, 2021 3:42 pm

I, for one, think it's time to get back to the respectable, apolitical times in Oscars history when the Academy, without ulterior motivation, nominated films like Doctor Dolittle.

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Big Ben
Joined: Mon Feb 08, 2016 12:54 pm
Location: Great Falls, Montana

Re: 'Rediculous' Customer & Critic Reviews

#4216 Post by Big Ben » Tue May 04, 2021 3:49 pm

Does this fabled before time also include when the Academy gave committed Communist Bernardo Bertolucci two Oscar? (No disrespect meant here.)

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Pavel
Joined: Fri Aug 07, 2020 2:41 pm

Re: 'Rediculous' Customer & Critic Reviews

#4217 Post by Pavel » Tue May 04, 2021 4:14 pm

I don't get the "X film with a predominantly white cast wouldn't get nominated under the new rules" argument, since those quotas make sure that you can get a nom if you a have a limited number of POC behind the scenes, and I'm pretty sure every Oscar-nominated film of the last 20 years has enough to fit the criteria. The rules are pointless because the only way to not follow them in this day and age is if you genuinely try hard

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Cash Flagg
Joined: Thu Jan 24, 2008 11:15 pm

Re: 'Rediculous' Customer & Critic Reviews

#4218 Post by Cash Flagg » Tue May 04, 2021 5:41 pm

What’s truly pathetic is that they apparently have to bribe people with free stuff as an incentive to post in support of their bigoted and unsolicited ramblings!

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bottled spider
Joined: Thu Nov 26, 2009 2:59 am

Re: 'Rediculous' Customer & Critic Reviews

#4219 Post by bottled spider » Tue May 04, 2021 7:26 pm

If I knew how to Twitter, my cogent concise thoughts would be that the expression they are looking for is 'toe the line', and 'proscribed' means something entirely different from what they think it does.

Nw_jahrles
Joined: Fri May 11, 2018 1:52 pm

Re: 'Rediculous' Customer & Critic Reviews

#4220 Post by Nw_jahrles » Wed May 05, 2021 12:43 pm

And the apology from Unobstructed View:

A Message From Jonathan Gross
Earlier this week we sent out a newsletter, and in an overheated reaction, I made some off-hand references that came across as a little too angry and crossed a line. I took advantage of the platform, and many of you took the time to respond with your own disappointment with what I wrote. While this will never happen again on this site, I do defend the right for everyone to have an opinion, including Regina King and Frances McDormand. With that in mind, I do sincerely apologize for what I wrote. Thank you to all of our customers for your continued support and thank you to everyone who reads the newsletter. I encourage you to reach out to me with your thoughts any time, you can always reach us at info@unobstructedview.com. Further, the views expressed here do not reflect any of the views of our suppliers, all of whom support all voices in filmmaking.

Jonathan Gross

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domino harvey
Dot Com Dom
Joined: Wed Jan 11, 2006 2:42 pm

Re: 'Rediculous' Customer & Critic Reviews

#4221 Post by domino harvey » Thu May 13, 2021 10:47 am

This official synopsis from Mill Creek reads like an auto translate, though from what I have no idea
An NYPD Detective is shot by one of his own, benevolent brothers in uniform. Communities are ignited to march for justice. Gangs put their differences aside for a united fight, an equal opportunity. "That people not be judged by the color of their skin but for the content of their character." The movement and unity impacts City society and leads to a Blue Wall intervention within the Police force. White cops' lust for change and act on it by flushing out racism. Not an easy fight. In the end, what was considered impossible, became possible.

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Pavel
Joined: Fri Aug 07, 2020 2:41 pm

Re: 'Rediculous' Customer & Critic Reviews

#4222 Post by Pavel » Thu May 13, 2021 11:21 am

Which film is this for?

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DarkImbecile
Ask me about my visible cat breasts
Joined: Mon Dec 09, 2013 6:24 pm
Location: Albuquerque, NM

Re: 'Rediculous' Customer & Critic Reviews

#4223 Post by DarkImbecile » Thu May 13, 2021 11:29 am

Clearly a children’s fantasy of some sort

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domino harvey
Dot Com Dom
Joined: Wed Jan 11, 2006 2:42 pm

Re: 'Rediculous' Customer & Critic Reviews

#4224 Post by domino harvey » Thu May 13, 2021 11:37 am

It appears that Mill Creek was just repeating the official synopsis for the film, given that it's also up on Letterboxd and IMDB
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Equal Standard

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