There didn't seem to be a thread for this, so I had to create one because it's an underrated masterpiece!
I'm kidding, it's a Nico Mastorakis film. it's terrible. Basically, it's a string of poorly executed Hitchcock quotes dressed up as a slasher and all lashed desperately onto shaky and hysterical turn-of-the-century notions about the internet. Its main point of interest is its weird cast: Roger Daltrey, Huey Lewis and Nastassja Kinski, who I can only imagine is here to show her dad what
real slumming looks like.
A kinder person than myself might celebrate its counterintuitive plotting as 'avant garde' rather than inept. We know the baddie will be ultimately be defeated, but will it be by Nastassja's plucky, wheelchair-bound resourcefulness; by the police rushing to her rescue for fully a third of the film (a
reductio ad absurdum of Griffithian parallel montage); or by the clever use of the computer-controlled robot house that's been painstakingly set up through endless exposition in Act One? Look away now, dear viewer, if you think you might ever want to watch this piece of shit.
The psycho gets taken out be a random bolt of lightning. The magic house ends up being completely irrelevant to the plot and might just as easily have been any old house with manually locking / unlocking doors.
I'm not even posting this review as a warning (the warning is already there in the director credit), but to remark on what might very possibly be objectively the worst extra I've ever seen. Mastorakis has taken to doing his own extras on recent releases, and they're uniformly self-serving and bad, but one is a cut below. It runs nearly half an hour. The first half / two-thirds consists of every second of soft-core porn footage that didn't make the final cut. You'll feel terrible for the poor actresses stripping in front of a blue screen who surely never dreamt they'd be subjected to this humiliation twenty years after they breathed a sigh of relief at ending up on the cutting room floor. It goes on and on and on, all so that Mastorakis can re-ogle these women while we look numbly on. Then it gets really crazy, with the last third or so of the featurette dedicated to Mastorakis' cheesily illustrated theory that the reason that his films have such low ratings on imdb is because of a conspiracy against him (to which imdb is a party). The possibility that his films might actually be that bad isn't entertained for a second.
